Talking about the near future, and almost losing my shit.

What a day.

We worked on pinewood derby cars for races tomorrow. I probably won't go because moving makes me dizzy right now and I don't feel like fainting in front of a buttload of people again.
Thank you megaloblastic anemia.

Joe and I sat down and discussed his short-term home time goals.
It was hard to process him saying he'll be gone longer than a month (the remainder of April, all of May and the first half of June) in order to make it back for our anniversary, which is a HUUUGE deal to him. Yes its important, and I think it's amazingly cute that he cares this much about this milestone, but I had a hard time explaining why I felt the need for him being home for our anniversary isn't AS important as him being home for Jack's birth.
The way he laid out this plan to me was, if he's gone longer than a month, he'll have an even amount of weeks in the following pay periods to be able to come home for a whole week, when the baby is due.
All I could process was "I'll be gone longer than a month...I'll be gone longer than a month...I'll be gone longer than a month..."
I know it's for a good reason, but this SUCKS.

I feel like I'm going to completely lose my shit, lately.

Maesyn started hanging out in her room and is outgrowing family time. I can't enforce anything.

Joey can't keep his shit together. ADHD is a horrible thing to endure. He's also been stealing little things, then saying he found whatever it is (normally money) in his bed. When you try to explain the Boy who cried wolf, he doesn't get it, and really couldn't care less. And the primal screaming is getting out of hand. My nerves are shot.

Ava has been the diva from hell as of late.
Ignoring my rules about makeup has been the biggest battle so far. 6 going on 16.

Brayden is exploring boundaries and stressing me out.

I'm rapidly approaching the third trimester of pregnancy with my husband on the road, and I have absolutely no patience for any bull crap. I want to snap at everybody... and since I can't I have to bottle it up and get even more stressed.
Braxton hicks contractions combined with restless leg syndrome and dizziness are ruling my evenings, and no one gets that-This has been the hardest pregnancy by far.
THEN there's the 3 dogs that bark at EVERYTHING, making me jump out of my skin if-god forbid-someone takes a step too close to the yard, and the only one I'm "allowed" to control is mine. The other 2 have free reign to bark, piss and bite my kids in the face with no disciplinary action. If I do it, I'M the one reprimanded!!! I can't even LOOK at the dogs with a disappointed look without getting shit!!!
Sorry I forgot the FKN dogs are more important than my kids welfare!!!

I guess all in all I have to count my blessings. I have an incredible support system, a roof over my head, loving children, and a husband that loves me unconditionally.
Life isn't all bad. I just have to allow myself to remember this when I feel like snapping. I just don't always feel like I can get the weight off my already sore shoulders.